This 14th year of business was a mixture of delving into some new content; reviewing the basics; and specialized training. I love the variety of sources to inspire my work–and the challenge to tailor experience with each particular client.

I went to a workshop about “divine” and “shadow” femininity and masculinity earlier this year. As a therapist and sex therapist, of course I’ve been analyzing relational and internal energies for my whole life. I see some real limits to associating energies with gender and am committed to fluidity and curiosity. At the same time, the lens of “divine” feminine and masculine is an interesting way to highlight qualities that someone of any gender can incorporate into life, with or without a partner. I’m also fascinated by the shadow aspects. While some religions may prescribe gender roles, they are silent on the shadow side–the problematic ways that gender roles hurt people. In this other framework, divine femininity relates to deep strength in vulnerability, creativity, radiance, acceptance, presence, compassion, timelessness, and flow. Toxic or shadow femininity is associated with hyper-etiquette, passive aggression, manipulation, gossip, perfectionism, false humility, covert competition, and/or helplessness. Shadow (or “toxic”) masculinity, as many of us know, relates to violence, aggression, entitlement, hostility, impulsivity, bravado, and being caviler. Divine masculinity is protective, providing, initiating, activating, adventurous, focused, grounded, and direct. Anyone can have any of these traits. The shadow sides of each relates to how people cause harm and/or unconsciously sabotage themselves. This framework is one of a thousand that can help us self-assess our growth edges and practice them with ourselves and in relationships.

Another workshop I took this year was back to basics: Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT). It’s a comprehensive treatment theory for depression, anxiety, and trauma that involves assessing and treating 4 domains: interpersonal disputes, role transitions, grief, and interpersonal deficits. Intervention techniques include communication analysis, interpersonal inventory, role playing, assertiveness training, and building social support. I also studied an Interpersonal Process Approach book (different from IPT) with a supervisee.

For sex therapy, I attended the AASECT national convention again. This year’s workshops included:

• The Room Nextdoor: Neural networks and Sexuality (with Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are and Come Together)
• The Fight for LGBTQ Rights in an Age of Fear-Based Politics (with Representative Zooey Zephyr)
• Black Male Sexualization (with Yamonte Cooper)
• Intersex Narratives: Navigating Identity, Advocacy, and Sexual Health (with (Pidgeon Pagonis)
• Navigating Intimacy with Autism
• Reimagining Menopause and Beyond: A Journey of Empowerment and Clarity
• Sexual and Reproductive Reality of Breeding Kinks
• Centering Latinidad in Sex Education, Counseling, y Therapy
• Assessing Sexual Dysfunction and Preventing Early Onset Psychosis

Additionally, I started learning how to combine two of my specialties. I took a course in combining EMDR and Ketamine-Assisted Therapy. It helped me sharpen both skill sets and develop a couple protocols for combined treatment. Both EMDR and Ketamine-Assisted therapies may help tap into unconscious material and enhance neuroplasticity. This is a treatment option for some people with depression and trauma.

I also completed my last year coordinating trainings with the Queer Affirming Therapist Guild and attended the American Academy of Psychotherapist conference (previous blog post). It’s been a great year!