I took a webinar training last week on everyone’s favorite topic: “Lies, Deception, Infidelity, and Jealousy.” Ellyn Bader of The Couples Institute facilitated the discussion. One of the most interesting parts of the training was her model for determining whether a relationship is likely to recover from deception:
- How high are the partners’ desires for honesty?
- What are the partners’ beliefs in the likelihood of success?
- What amount of unwanted effort is it going to take?
- How willing are the partners to take emotional risks (self-exposure rather than avoidance, denial, minimizing)?
The answers to these questions can help evaluate the relationship’s potential and pinpoint particular areas for development.